Ever wondered why you see so many mummies in coffee shops? Sleep regression!

Ever wondered why you see so many mummies in coffee shops? Sleep regression!

I am writing this as an overtired mummy of a baby, who is a less than perfect sleeper. Pre baby, I thought that years of early morning swimming training, doing a Masters while working full time and running two businesses would be good training for the sleep deprivation that comes with motherhood but it turns out that sometimes babies let you have even less sleep than you thought possible!

We are in the midst of sleep regression and being woken up every 20 minutes to two hours. Sleep regressions are believed to occur when a baby’s sleep pattern changes and they begin to wake frequently at night and fight or refuse naps.  If your baby hasn’t learned to settle itself back to sleep yet, they may wake more frequently, as they move between light and deep sleep. Sleep regressions feel like they arrive out of nowhere and can last indefinitely.  Sleep regressions often occur at 3-4 months, 8-9 months, and 18 months. Regressions appear as baby’s sleep needs change and the number of naps that they require alters. Babies then become over-tired and over-tired babies counter intuitively wake frequently or refuse naps, leaving you knackered and them in a sleep regression.

Some sleep experts believe that regressions also occur around periods of significant development such as such as crawling. Research showing this as a link is limited but anecdotally there may be a link between physical milestones and increased periods of waking up at night. So think of sleep regression as part of their normal development, a milestone in itself albeit one with its own unique challenges. I also feel that regression for us occurs around growth spurts, with increased need for feeds at night.

Four month sleep regression hit us hard. At 4 months baby’s sleep becomes more like that of an adult so previous strategies of rocking or nursing a baby back to sleep may stop working. Newborn babies immediately enter into deep non-REM sleep, whereas at about 4 months, babies do not immediately enter into non-REM/deep sleep stage, as soon as they go to sleep.  Instead, they will first enter into a lighter sleep stage (non-REM sleep).  The effect of this is that when you are rocking or nursing your baby to sleep they nod off and then as soon as you put them down, they startle and are straight back into wide-awake mode.  

So what’s the solution…

Well trying to recognize and adapt to your babies needs and understanding what sleep regression is definitely helps, as does a deep breath, a cup of coffee and remembering that they aren’t doing it just to challenge you! For me the key is making sure that he naps, even if it means pushing him out in the buggy to enforce a nap; this prevents him getting over tired and helps me to get him down at night. The fresh air also does us both good, even though arguably more sleep would be better still. However, this may not work for everyone, as by this point some babies find it difficult to sleep on the go as they become increasingly aware of their surroundings. Some babies just need to be put down as anything else that you do by this point just over stimulates them. Some experts recommend keeping a consistent bedtime and naptime routine in place however, others recommend a flexible schedule that is in tune with your baby’s needs. Our schedule is flexible by default but he has started to consistently go to sleep by 19:30 now, which is a great success as before it was 21:30 due to cluster feeding.

Making sure that naps don’t occur after 4:30-5:00pm and moving bedtime earlier if his last nap starts to get too late in the day, definitely helped.

Also, if something isn’t working don’t keep doing it. Sounds like common sense right but I can’t tell you how many people soldier on with something out of desperation, as a book suggested that it should help. If it doesn’t work, drop it and try something else! Controlled crying being a case in point; in our house crying means that there is a problem that needs intervention so leaving him to cry just ramps up the volume and levels of distress all round. However, for some of my friends this has worked, as their babies actually just needed a minute to settle themselves down.

Remember you know your baby better than anyone but understanding a little more about sleep regression and stopping them from getting over-tired may help you through this challenge of parenthood! Having an hour or so to yourself to re-energize can help too; obviously for me a bit of yoga and Pilates are a recommendation.